when my mum was the exact age i am now, i was like a couple of weeks old
i couldn’t look after a baby right now
i sometimes forget to eat because i’m sat around writing about mermaid biology
what the heck mum
@_@ when my mom was my age she had 3 kids already
That sounds terrifying.
I think one of my followers is really cute.
wish i was witty and cute but instead im sarcastic and annoying
I keep thinking oh man, I’m so immature. How am I allowed to be an adult.
Then I spend time with teenagers.
And it’s like, wow, okay, yeah. I am an adult. I am so adult. Look at me adulting all over the place.
when you masturbate twice on the same day
People will stop showing you pictures of their kids if you whisper “oh fuck yea” under your breath when you look at their photos.
i know im ugly but can some guy just take one for the team and love me
mary had a little lamb
whos fleece was white as snow
it went out to a club one night
and dropped it hella low
you finally sneak into the dragon’s cave and find his treasure chest. you open it and there is just a macaroni drawing by the dragon’s son.
“ITS TREASURE TO MEEEEE” the dragon bellows