I keep thinking oh man, I’m so immature. How am I allowed to be an adult.
Then I spend time with teenagers.
And it’s like, wow, okay, yeah. I am an adult. I am so adult. Look at me adulting all over the place.
when you masturbate twice on the same day
See the toy? Lodged in the rectum. Just because you’re an adult with a Buzz Lightyear does not mean Buzz Lightyear is an adult toy. *For external use only*
To infinity and beyond
People will stop showing you pictures of their kids if you whisper “oh fuck yea” under your breath when you look at their photos.
i know im ugly but can some guy just take one for the team and love me
mary had a little lamb
whos fleece was white as snow
it went out to a club one night
and dropped it hella low
you finally sneak into the dragon’s cave and find his treasure chest. you open it and there is just a macaroni drawing by the dragon’s son.
“ITS TREASURE TO MEEEEE” the dragon bellows
Watch this video from Cadillac. Note a few things (actor, white, rich guy, workaholic, typical cocky American, very unrealistic). This is not a parody video, they’re being completely serious.
I can’t explain it very well just please watch both of these videos okay Ford burns Cadillac so bad okay it’s so good.
"That’s the upside of giving a damn."
You better hope winter is coming, bitch. You’re gonna need it for that burn.
Cadillac you just got burned.
We lost Earl Ragnar, our favorite Beta fish & we were sure to give him a viking’s funeral as such a magnificent fish as he deserves.
See you in Valhalla my friend.
Sail, Ragnar. Sail.
you set your little girl’s dead fish on fire in front of her eyes this is incredible
Mary Bowser, former slave of the Van Lew family, infiltrated the Confederacy by working as a servant in the household of Jefferson Davis. Bowser was assumed to be illiterate, and as a black woman was below suspicion. Practically invisible, she was able to listen to conversations between Confederate officials and read sensitive documents, gathering information that she handed over to the Union.
This needs to be a movie. Like, now.
I’d watch this movie.
How is this not a movie?
*throws money at Hollywood*
did some research and it’s from “Syrup,” which looks to be a movie that came out this year. also it’s on netflix.